The book “His Needs Her Needs”: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by Dr. Willard F. Harley was written with a purpose to help couples create an environment in their marriage that will be immune to cheats and love affairs. The author states that the main purpose of this book is to help couples find and meet their emotional needs. As Willard discusses, soon after he graduated he noticed that the number of divorces per year was growing rapidly. He even points out that 25% of couples that went through any type of marriage counseling viewed that it caused more harm than good. This situation encouraged Willard to do a deep research in order find out what are the core reasons why people fall in love, get married and then terminate the marriage.
At the beginning of the book “His Needs Her Needs”, Willard points out that the this book is a result of a 13-week seminar. The book is a compilation of the material collected in those 13 weeks but in a more detailed format. He starts his work by asking how an affair actually happens in a marriage. Willard says that the main reason for divorces are not meeting the needs of your partner. Then he points out that the reason why this happens is because the needs are different for men and women. If partners in their marriage fail to meet each other needs, the chances for one of them having an extra-marital affair become greater.
The solution for this problem Harley calls “love bank”. According to him, each person has “a love bank – a central scoring device” that receives and gives credits from the responses of the interactions with other people in their lives. The “love bank” is the basic point of the book “His Needs Her Needs”, and is used to demonstrate how people fall in and out of love. A couple will come to the highest point of their marriage only when both partners reach a high deposit in their account.
Throughout the chapters of the book “His Needs Her Needs”, Willard addresses the physical and emotional needs that both men and women have. He starts by pointing out the most essential need women have – an affection, and the most essential need for every man – sexual fulfillment. Then Willard explains all five needs that every woman and man have and how they can satisfy those needs. At the end of this book, Willard dedicates a chapter on how couples which are married can survive an affair, and then finishes by summing up the needs for developing a relationship that causes the partners to become charming one to another.
The book His Needs Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley certainly is not only educational, but thought-provoking and enjoyable as well. Make sure you get a copy.